An ice battle of biblical proportions

This Friday, my University of Minnesota Fighting Mondales will take on the University of St. Thomas Fightin' Apostles for round one of the Inaugural Minnesota All-Law School Hockey Tournament. Following that game, the William Mitchell Fighting Eelpouts will meet the Hamline Fighting Squirrels in battle on the ice. The winners will compete for the Championship on Saturday night.

I must say that I feel quite honored to attend a law school with a hockey team. Even more unusual is the fact that all four law schools in town have hockey teams. Only in Minnesota.

But even more important, our hockey team definitely has the best mascot. Fighting Mondales definitely beats the regular University mascot, the golden gophers. UST comes in at a close second with the Fightin' Apostles. Although I'm tempted to say that Apostles is a bit bland. I mean, come on, every Christian can claim the Apostles. It would have been more distinctly Catholic had they called themselves the Fightin' Cardinals or the Fightin' Fathers or maybe the Fightin' Archbishops.

That reminds me of an idea I once had for a superhero. He would be known as "The Bishop" and he would wear a mitre while fighting crime. He would forgo firearms, using only the episcopal cross to strike terror into the hearts of evil-doers. He would quote scripture extensively, especially the Old Testament.

But come on, Fighting Squirrels? At least go with flying squirrels if you can't think of anything else. The jury is still out on Eelpouts. It's terrible, but it might be so terrible that it goes over to being good; like if you were to put so many miles on your car that the odometer flipped back to zero.

Anyway, wish the Fighting Mondales luck tomorrow.